She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
FUCK WHALES
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