You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
