no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
