i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
