What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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