Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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