you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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