Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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