I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
