You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
