just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
