I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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