my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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