Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
