I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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