In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
