Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
