This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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