Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
