do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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