he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
