Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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