so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
