i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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