Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
