your thong is hanging out like whoa
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You were trust falling into bushes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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