Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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