Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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