Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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