you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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