You're so nebulous sometimes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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