Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
