i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
