help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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