I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
