I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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