I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
