The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
