No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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