what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
