i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
