ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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