this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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