What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
