so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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