I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
