Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
