so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
