This gyro tastes like lonliness
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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