My nipple is on Facebook.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
