This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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